TP Talks
by Introverted-Verses
Summary: Somebody's a matchmaker / toilet paper. WRFA prompt. Oh, joy. One-Shot.


**Somebody's a matchmaker / toilet paper**

**Oh yeah, this is gonna be fun.**

"_Help. Me._" The words were growled through the obstructing tissue, such a weak defense, yet sadly effective.

She could see the curling of his mouth, regardless of his attempt to tamp down on his growing amusement. The smile spread more as he tried to force it into his usual mug-shot.

Her increasing embarrassment caused her flush to expand and her glare to falter, shift, and reform into a pleading sort of pout.

"C'mon!"

Oh, but alas, she should've known her pure helplessness wouldn't cause his conscience to kick in, and maybe convince the smug bastard to give her a hand...no, it just invoked the ill-concealed laugh that he now released, but at least he had the smallest decency to try to muffle it, he even turned around.

But then again...

What in bloody _hell_ good did he think that was goin' to do?!

Sure it was a kind gesture, for him at the very least, but did he _honestly_ think she couldn't hear him laughing his ass off over there!

Her scowl returned full force as his chuckles had still ceased to die down. She saw him look over his shoulder at her, look away, and bring his hand to his head, shaking in laughter for a second time.

_Ohh, when I get my hands on him-!_

She blinked as she heard him cough lightly into his fist, before he shuffled around to face her once more, his renewed stoic mask cracked again as he got another look at the apparently hilarious situation.

"Don't start, Wolverine." She rumbled, seeing the amusement again splayed carelessly across his face.

"So," _Oh, lookie there, it speaks..._"the mighty Rogue is taken down by -what is this?" He smirked as he approached, taking a handful of the bindings and tugged them loosely. The adhesive her friends had applied to the line gently plucked her clothes along with his hand, "-toilet paper?"

_Twitch._

"You...are dead to me." Blush returning as he continued to pull at the cocoon of paper, she closed her eyes in mortification, "Just get me out of this..."

Logan raised his palms in borderline submission, and reached forward beginning to rip the strips of toilet paper off his friend.

And for one, hopeful moment she thought he was going to help her and be done with it...

"So." And so it begins. "How'd they manage this?"

Rogue watched him as he wagged his hand inefficiently over the trash bin, failing poorly to dislodge the paper now stuck to his fingertips. His chest vibrated as an irritated growl troubled it's way out of his throat and bounced harmlessly around the room.

Shaking her head clear, she stumbled through her memories of earlier to find an explanation, "I really have no idea, something about Jubes shouting '_They will be united!_' I, personally, think she's on some strange shit, but you know, hey. The next thing I know I'm waking up in your room glued to T.P. and, uh-" She wiggled slightly, grimacing. "-possibly the floor."

Glancing up at her, eyebrow cocked in disbelief, he grumbled, "Devil firecracker...wouldn't be surprised. The kid's drunk off her ass."

Rolling her neck back, Rogue moaned in self-pity, "Oh, _great._"

Logan looks back up at her when she repeats the motion, rocking her head around for a second -and third- time, pausing briefly in his work, tilts his head minutely and asks, "Something wrong, darlin'?"

Rogue's multicolored hair follows her action of shaking her head, "I don't _think_ so...my neck just feels a bit sticky..." Logan's gaze keenly tracks her shoulders scrunching up to mimic the feel. "I dunno, but they better not have put glue on my skin, causing me eternal embarrassment and wrecking a perfectly good outfit is bad enough."

"It could just be that," he offers while shrugging, "you're disgustingly sweaty." He wipes a finger along her jaw, feeling her attempt to suppress a shiver at the surprisingly tender touch.

Decidedly ignoring his own reaction he continued with his point -rubbing his hands together he nods his head, "Yup, you need a shower."

She huffed impatiently, "Yeah, well thanks, Captain Obvious."

Scoffing, he didn't bother finishing the joke, tearing some more of the toilet paper from her, "Can ya move yet?"

"Uh, I...think so." Rogue scrunched her face into a wondering frown, and tried to jerk her arms from her sides.

Logan stared on as her cheeks flooded red both from exertion and well-reasoned chagrin, grinning as she choked out a growl that he knew was courtesy of her inner Wolverine.

"Aha!" He heard her cheer as she finally freed her arms from the glue, and chuckled when she yelled triumphantly lifting her hands high above her head in celebration.

Logan stretched himself up, looked down upon Rogue as she smiled in obvious glee, and decided to have some more of his own entertainment, "_Whew,_" he started waving his paw back and forth in front of his nose. "Yeah, Stripes, now that I got a whiff of your pits, no party for you til ya clean off."

Shoulders drooping, she stared into his hazel eyes condescendingly, "Really? You just had to go rain on my parade, didn't yah?" Pursing her lips, Rogue shook her head, and raised her palms for him to grab. She still might very well be stuck to the floor.

The Wolverine grunted as he took her right hand in his and pulled her up, unsurprised as he had to tug a bit to detach her lithe form from the carpet. Steadying her with his arm he released his grip, and pulled away.

Pulling an unsuspecting Rogue with him.

The shocked girl stumbled forward into Logan, his arm grabbing hers to keep her upright as she tripped. Connected arms tucked out to the side, their bodies pressed snugly against together, neither bothering to move an inch as the situation pinned itself in their minds.

Logan, gathering himself faster than his companion, immediately took notice of their rather...not-as-friendly-as-it-should-be position, and swallowed heavily. He could feel her lean body shift on his, hand twitching at his side as he looked away uncomfortably, making no move to get away.

_She's filled out nicely..._

Gr, no, bad Wolverine. Bad. You don't think about that.

_But,_ the Wolverine simpered, _Damn._

"Uh, Logan?" Marie said into his jacket, still shuffling around.

_Hot damn indeed._ "Yeah, darlin'?" No, he didn't just sniff her head. He did not. He most definitely didn't catch a whiff of the delicious honey tang that seemed infused in her voice and slathered over in her scent.

He did _not._

"Gonna let go, sugah?"

What? Logan blanked. Let go? But...He didn't wanna let go.

"Logan?" Now she was smiling, no doubt laughing at him and his uncharacteristic spacing out.

"Sorry." He was not sorry.

The two separated, as far as they could, before realizing that they were still stuck at the hands.

He chuckled lightly, "C'mon, darlin' let go."

She pulled her hand towards her body, tugging his with it. "I did, now it's your turn."

The pair stared at their connected hands curiously, before two looks of identical horror came to their faces.

"She did not." Rogue sagged.

"Hate to break it to ya, kid, but..." He didn't finish. Not that he really needed to.

Giving their hands one last chance to pull apart, the two sighed and looked at each other, silently observing the situation.

Their eyes met.

Their eyes fell.

The Eyebrow came up.

The Eyebrow came down.

Rogue and Logan opened their mouths at the same time, noticed the other do the same motion, then gestured for the other to speak.

"So," She said.

"Uhm." He grumbled.

"_You go-_" They spoke. "_It's okay._"

They glanced suspiciously at each other, "_Seriously_."

"_Stop_!"

The pair chuckled awkwardly when a quiet pause settled, as the one waited for the other to speak.

"_Just say som-_"

They groaned.

"Ugh, _yuck_! I didn't expect you guy to, like, go that far!" Kitty shrieked from outside the door.

"_Kitty!_" Marie and Logan growled simultaneously, stepping towards the door.

Shadowcat began to ramble aimlessly, "-so glad I didn't phase through the door-"

"Kit." Rogue said warningly.

"What? You should be happy I haven't totally invaded you privacy. Speaking of, you, like, wouldn't guess what Bo-"

Rogue felt her eye twitch and suspected the Wolverine had had very much the same reaction.

"-and then he was all like-"

"Katherine Pryde, get in here!"

There was the smallest of breaks, "Are you decent?"

"_Shadowcat, _so help me, girl."

"Sorry!"

The brunettes head popped through the door, throwing a surprised glance at the state of her friends, before falling all of the way through.

Rogue and Logan watched as she went to the far corner of the shared room and clicked open a drawer in her dresser, pulling something out looking rather satisfied.

Kitty then proceeded to strut halfway into the wall when she looked back and pursed her lips, "Jubes isn't gonna be happy when she sees this."

Logan brow furrowed, gazing questioningly at the teen, "Whaddya mean, Cat?"

She seemed to think about what to say before turning nonchalantly around in the wall, "Nothing...just, she was hoping for more contact when you guys got stuck."

With that, she took her leave. Abandoning her elder X-Men in the room, gaping at her.

A dark look overcame Rogue features as she squeezed painfully hard on Logan's hand, ignoring his huff when she started crushing him, "_Jubilation Lee._"

Logan blinked owlishly at her devilish expression, "Uh, darl-"

She was fucking _pissed. _

Tearing down the halls with a two ton Logan dragging uselessly behind her, she came to a stop in the rec. room, practically steaming from the ears.

"Jubilee!"

The Asian girl propped her head over the couch, eyes red and half-mast as she sputtered non-sense to an exasperated Bobby seating next to her. "Whaaa-? Oh, Roguey, my darling. Ho-how I've missed yooou!"

Rogue rolled her eyes at her friend's –or should I say ex-friend's- state and held up her and Logan's interconnected hands, "What is the meaning of this?"

The smaller girls head lolled slightly as she took the picture in. Her eyes glowed with a vague recognition as she cackled, "Muahaha! What did I tell you, you guys! They. Will. Be. United! One way or another!" The drunken girl started humming, "_getcha, getcha, getcha, one way~ or another~ I'm gonna find ya`!_" She giggled as the song played on remotely in her head as she collapsed herself into the newly-returned Kitty's lap, then looked seriously into the girl's eyes and spoke very solemnly, "I think we just had ourselves a little Journey moment there..."

Rogue groaned loudly and pulled a mildly frustrated, yet reluctantly amused Wolverine behind her again, ignoring Bobby's question of; "Wasn't that a Blondie song?"

"Where the kid who eats glue when ya need 'em?"

**Hi, strangers!**

**So, I was rooting through my files -yeah, organized chaos!- and I found this. I read through it, found it unfinished, finished it, decided it sucked, and threw it to you guys who were hoping for something good to read! -yeah, false advertising!-**

**If however, you did think it was good, or just feel like telling me how bad it stunk, leave a review! -Meh, shameless self-promotion-**

**I tired. **

**I lame.**

**I, Robot is a good movie. **

**I own nothing besides a Marvel poster and copies of movies...-sob-**

**Laterz, -Note, I don't own Sherlock either...no matter how awesome and smart and genius and freakin'-! Breathe, girl. Breathe.-**

_**I-V**_


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